Are We More Mad …?

One thing that I have noticed when working with clients who have gone through a traumatic experience, especially one of a sexual assault, is that more often than not the victim is more angry at who they believed should have protected them, rather than the perpetrator.

As I dig deeper into this understanding the blame is a result of two different things. The first, and arguably the more important one, is the lack of validation from this individual. People are uncomfortable knowing that these things unfortunately do happen and instead of working with the victim to help them through it they instead, themselves, struggle with admitting this happened or know how to deal with them so they pretend it didn't happen and sweep it under the rug, placing lame back onto the victim. This creates further distance and more resentment

The other is that the protector did not inform the victim or sheltered the victim from knowing about these situations let alone what to do or how to respond to such a situation.

Tackle these tough conversations with your children or friends. A conversation does not imply that it will happen but rather builds an awareness so that one can become prepared.

Better to have and not need than to need and not have.